July 31, 2008


This weekend my family and i went up to indiana to visit a very sick aunt. Meanwhile a group of 4 teenagers from my brother's high school were headed to Ohio to ride some roller coasters and simply celebrate the end of summer. The 4 Teens were friends of my brothers and had the situations been different there is a chance that he would have been there. They were driving in kentucky on their way back home when the car they were in swerved into oncoming traffic and all 4 were killed when a truck carring steel bars ran into them. It makes you think really, about how fragile things are, how a simple moment can change everything. We headed home the day after and the remains of the crash had been cleared from the road with no trace that something horrible had happened just the night before . You wonder often if there is a such thing as fate and it becomes only too clear what it is all about. Now really what stops it from being my brother rather than those poor kids what caused the situation, what makes this story the foreign trajedy instead of something all too close to home? It rattles round in my head and each and every second is precious and lasting. Family is a unique thing, you scream and yell and fight and yet you know that if you couldn't yell and scream and fight then life really wouldn't be the same. It really takes a shock to the system for one to realize what it all means. Does it matter that you fight all the time and haven't said a civil word to one another. That you complain about the fact that he left your car dirty and never bothers to ask how your day was despite the fact that you live down the hall from each other he pretends you don't exist. But even after everything family is family and it is really all that counts. So rest in peace Caitlin Currey, Jackson Harris, Caitlin Lee and Ryan Williams and know that this was not the fate that anyone would have wanted for you. In fact it is not a fate you should have had to face, and each and every day we face tough choices and every little choice could lead down a fatal path.

July 10, 2008

So tired...

I am so tired today, i was up until 2am washing laundry in the tenant's machines, I really hate not having my own washer, theirs is so tiny and the dryer never dries propertly. Our laundry room has the floor tiled but since it is a solid brick building they have not been able to cut a hole in either laundry room for the dryer vent (which may be why the machine never works right). Mickey is being punished right now, he can't come out of his cage for any reason. He actually peed on the couch while i was in the shower. Any tips on getting him to stop doing that would be greatly appreciated, since has now ruined the couch. He did the same thing with my waterbed matress (thank god it isn't a softsider). Apparently i am no good at potty training pets. My puppy Chance thinks that rugs were invented for him to pee on. Just something else I am much to tired to worry about.
Picture is of me and the little kitty monster, looks sweet right?
In other news the electrican never came back to the house, my bathroom light fixure is still sitting on the kitchen countertop, not only did the idiot hang the wrong fixture the first time, he also never came back to fix the problem. Also he has not switch out the light fixture in that back bedroom, and since mom has already paid him, it would appear that it is not going to get fixed.
The new tile guy who did the new shower was so sloppy, not to mention that his bid included materials and i still had to buy all my own stuff. The tiles are all wopperjawed and the hole he cut for the drain is deep, and large and SQUARE. I have never seen a shower with a square drain, and of course when he installed the drain he installed a standard sized circle drain, everytime I take a shower I have to avoid the drain because i am liable to twist my ankle with it.
It is so hard to live in what is essentially a construction site. I love the working on the houses part, i don't love living there while i work on it. The kitchen being so small is probably the worst adjustment i am having to make, we are all used to pantry cabinents bigger than we are and since the downstairs kitchen hasn't even began to be worked on, it is all of us in my kitchen which makes this horrible little diet (mom's idea not mine) and it just makes it so difficult to stay on when all the boys little sweet treats are everywhere in the kitchen. That probably has alot to do with the fact that I am not so good with diet, the only one which ever really worked was atkins and mom couldn't do it because she missed chocolate too much (seriously)
Chris' Birthday is next week and i am so broke that i can't get him anything. This will be the first birthday in two years that i have not been able to get him a present. It makes me feel bad because i want to get him something nice (god knows he could use some more attractive clothes). The best thing about moving is finding all the awesomely cool things that you forgot you still had, like this art project i did years ago, it is so cute. It's like a lost pet poster for a giant panda. It is amazing how creative you are when you are little. I often wonder what happen to that creative spark i had, did it just die or did i simply out grow the need to be creative. Nowdays I never paint or draw and I haven't made anything out of clay in ten years. Moreover you sort of forget what it was like to have inspiration, to get fixated on an idea and make something beautiful with it. Oddly enough that is more common than you think to get trapped by a concept, nowdays it becomes the mundane things that smutther that creative impluse, the need to get that file completed and did we get those disclosures and when are they doing their inspection and no I thought the buyers agent ordered that and $450 to treat those termites and did we scedule that closing yet and Mr. Investor is having a melt down. And then the ridiculous stuff, the buyer is walking because the home inspector tried to get all the painted shut windows to open and try to make ancient fireplaces work. It seems like no one uses the TAR contracts and what's worse they never read what they sign. Trying to hold agents liable for rickey floors and a mouse in the kitchen after they read the disclaimer notice is insane. A buyer wanting to walk from the contract because HIS lender said they would not be able to close until tomorrow. All the insane things that go on in realestate, not to mention that agents are the most ego centric people on the planet, you can't keep a team together long enough to develope a system because someone always gets it into their head that they don't need a team and can do it on their own and eventually they are too poor to pay rent or buy food. The worst agent are the ones that don't know what they are doing and their pride forgives them from asking for help, unfortunatly i can think of 12 of those that i have met over the years, one would hope they have the brains to have left the business by now. The way the market has been in the last year or so has hopefully thinned the ranks. As by broker always says, quality of agents is much more important than quantity of agents.

July 9, 2008

I sometimes think about how funny life can become sometimes. When your little the world holds so much promise, anyone can be a famous actress or singer or president or even impossible things like super heros. It is part of growing up to realize that you will never be what you wanted to be when you were little and it is time to grow up. That is probably why I love Disney World so much, it is the one place in the world where you can still have impossible dreams and see impossible things, where any little girl no matter how old can still be a princess. Sometime late at night before you go to sleep you can revist that simple, peaceful time when it was still possible to dream of impossible things. Even as i sit here at my desk, a pile of files and several undelightful phone calls wait for me but for just a moment I am revising that lost world of dreams and letting all the promise of childhood fill my mind. For just a second the world holds magic, real tangible magic.