June 20, 2012

Greetings to Cyberspace
   Another day another dollar. Life is pretty much trucking along at a snails pace this summer. But I did have a pretty amazing little day trip last week. The entire family headed down to Rock City last thursday and can I just say....WOW. The entire place looks a bit like a movie set. And while I am, as I'm sure everyone is aware, completely afraid of heights (which begs the question what exactly I was doing climbing a mountain in the first place.........also makes me wonder why I love planes so much...again doesn't make sense but whatever) so I wasn't spending my time leaning over the rail trying to imagine how far down it would be. Indeed...I got close enough to the rail once and that was it, and I fussed at my little brother who, like the ninny he can be, was climbing on the rail...yea...at the top of a mountain...really not good for my blood pressure. 

   I have to say though, it was the walk up and back down that most interested me. There was this very amazing kinda vibe, like stepping into lord of the rings...or that planet with the teddy bear people from star wars.....there were these huge rocks everywhere, and babbling mountain brooks which formed tiny waterfalls (and of course lover's leap being a big BIG waterfall). The feeling though of this primal forest high up in the mountain. I mean you could really imagine trolls or fairies or something. Especially if you were out of sight of any other people, the surrealness of the place is just completely overwhelming.  

   In a word though, the narrow passes, the caverns, the little stone walkways, all of it was just beautiful. There is no other way to say it than that. And yea me climbing a mountain, it wasn't about the destination as I had no desire to stand at the edge and look down....it was about the journey. And the journey was just amazing. 

   In an unrelated note, I'm still working on that little book project of mine. I'm at 50 in my list as of monday which is pretty cool I think :0 ). Really got into the Accidentally series by Dakota Cassidy. The books were just so funny and completely impossible to put down which is certainly a good thing. Honestly though I kinda took this on as a challenge to myself, to just see what I could do more than anything else. I don't have a set number I'm trying to reach and I'm not pushing myself to rush through things. I wanna just do what I can. 

   At work we had a girl quit like a month ago. So that means more work for me...but more work does not mean more money (bc I know that's what you were thinking there for a minute....). Some of the new things added to my list of stuff to do for the day are not really good at all. Right after she left I had several days where I didn't manage to leave the office until after 10:30. Still happens alot actually. Happened Monday of this week if memory serves (and it typically does). I'm kinda a night owl anyway so that part isn't so bad but sometimes being around here late, I get a bit jumpy. Last fall, I pulled a few all nighters, whereby I was at the office until after 1am a few times...once until something like 3:30 in the morning working on a term paper, so it isn't a new thing exactly but just once in a while, one of the late nights gets to me and I get kinda creeped out. 

      Business is doing pretty well though, all things considered. I mean I suppose calling it "booming" would be a bit of a misnomer, but it's certainly better than last year...though really it would be hard pressed to be worse. I'm trying to encourage Bob to step up and work these buyers, and I saw him kinda do that last week though this week it seems as if he is less interested in work. It's not like I wanna come up like "I'm your big sister listen to me" bc he never does and it's kinda wasting my breath but all the same I get so exasperated when he just doesn't seem to be doing it. All he gets is pissed off...ugh. 

     We are on a short hiatus with what I am terming "itty bitty readers theater" which is just really complicated to explain. I'm trying to get the director to give me a performance schedule but I guess he's just preoccupied or something. I had one of the other actors ask me if I knew when the next show was. Truth be told...I wish I did. We had it so well planned our first two weekends of shows went off pretty flawlessly...and that's with glitches and everything that is pretty common. It's a pretty weird experience though, these shows I mean. I really miss being on stage and while this really isn't the same thing, it lets me remember what I loved most about performing. I still believe it's what I wanna do for a living someday. I mean right now I am where I need to be, but not where I want to be...I know it doesn't make any sense but I still get that electric feeling when I see stage lights. I still feel that energy. You'd think the fact that I spent most of college (my last semester having a couple notable exceptions to that rule) staying off the stage, that I would be wanting to put my ambitions behind me. But I don't. I still feel like I did when I was a kid and I said that is what I wanna do when I grow up. I just consider myself not completely grown up yet and that just lets it be okay that I haven't done it yet. Maybe that's stupid...idk it probably is. But I can feel the way I feel and I don't think I should be willing to give up on anything that still matters so much to me.